While scrolling along my website, you may notice some old posts have been taken down. The reason I’ve removed old blogs is because this year has given me so much time to reflect on my vision for my life. And thinking about that has spurred this change because theres a certain way I want to structure this blog.
Events have occurred in my life that have really caused me to re-evaluate what I want out of life. I went from a goodie two-shoes Christian who wouldn’t dare step foot in a club, to a head-in-the-clouds liberal who believed that people should do whatever the hell it is they want, to someone who’s kind of in the middle. I’ve seen that people make choices based off of their self perceptions. I’ve seen that what defines a person is not in a man, woman, place, or thing. Those things certainly contribute to who we become, don’t get me wrong. But as human beings, we are much more than that!
I’ll be honest, even as a goodie-two-shoes Christian, I drooled over the idea of marriage and still saught validation from the idea of romance. But chose to attempt to do it how the church suggested to do it, which was to wait for my God-sent Knight in shining armor to come bursting through the doors and to work on myself until then, so I could be prepared for him. But eventually, I found out that concept was something that didn’t quite fit so, I decided to start dating. It was fun, but something was still wrong.
Didn’t I have what I wanted? Validation from cute guys right? SO that meant I was all set. WRONG. Because as I started to realize something was missing, my ideals started to change.
During this process I really started to find myself.
During this dating period in my life, I thought I was secure because of all the attention I was getting, but I was DEAD WRONG. Why????? Because I based my existence, my reason for living, off of being validated by others.
And I wasn’t really able to have anything serious at the time because A. I was always busy and B. I was about to move.
It wasn’t really until my mom handed me a book about female empowerment that I started to realize what I was really doing. I wasn’t dating just for fun, or because I was looking for a spouse, but I was doing it to VALIDATE ME. I won’t say which book this was, but I will say that as I was reading this God-send, I started to realize that I am worth more than a “Good morning beautiful,” . Yes it’s nice to be complimented and adored, and in a real relationship I think it can be expected, but I have been starting to realize that I don’t want to be the type of person who NEEDS to hear that from a man.
I now realize that I have a vision for my life, and if I am to accomplish the goals I have before me, I cannot afford to be distracted by ANYTHING, including the attention of a man. I’m not saying I’m doing away with dating altogether, and I’m not saying that a man shouldn’t compliment a woman. What I am saying is that I have to place value on myself before I let any man into my life. In order for me to be constructive in a relationship, I need to be in a place where I approve of myself and don’t need to thrive off of a guys opinion, or anyone’s opinion for that matter. Because being in a place where I see my own worth gives me purpose, and once my life has meaning, I won’t have to beg a man to love or appreciate me, but, the man of my choosing automatically will.
And I’m not saying I want this blog to be all about love and romance, though I might shed a little light on those things here and there, but I do want people to know (no matter who you are) that no one can add worth to your life, and no one decides your worth but you, and God. However, I will say this: YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THERE ARE STARS IN THE SKY! Once you realize how amazing you truly are, you will walk in that and you will own that, and no amount of rejection or mistreatment will take that away from you. I want my posts to be structured around one main theme, and that is “know your worth,”.
Thank you for reading, and have a wonderful day! 🙂